My Foolish Quest to Get Published

Novel or Novella?

Well, it depends who you ask, really. The first draft of my novel was only 25 000 words. I know, not much of anything. But I thought I was done and that it could be considered a novella. I submitted it to a few publishers, a handful of agents, and, shocker, no one bit.

But one editor saw in it the bones for a good story, and she took the time to give me excellent and insightful feedback. And with her constructive criticism, I brought my manuscript up to over 45 000 words.

Now, if you do a little Google search, which I did, a novella is a story with a word count sitting anywhere between 10 000 to 40 000 words (according to http://www.masterclass.com). There is even such a thing as a novelette, a fictional story with a word count between 7 500 and 17 000 words. Now, good luck finding a publisher for a novelette!

Many sites consider a manuscript over 40 000 words to be a novel. A short one, mind you, but still, a novel. So I’m golden, right? Wrong. You see, my novel can fit in either of the two following categories: thriller or horror, but sometimes these categories are considered the same. Any publisher or literary agent worth their salt would tell you a novel in either of these two categories must be no shorter than 70 000 words and no more than 90 000 words. The Write Life happens to agree: How Many Words Are in a Novel? Plus Word Counts for 17 Other Types of Books (thewritelife.com) However, many other sites place horror novels in a category of their own, with such novels having a target word count between 40 000 to 80 000 words.

The sad thing is 40 000 words novels are hardly picked up because they are not considered marketable, especially for first-time authors. Many publishers won’t even take a look at a manuscript that is shorter than 50 000 words. And, again, I know what you are thinking. “Why, Tania, the solution is quite simple. Just write another 5 000 words, and you’re good. Voilà!” I wish!

The solution, I’m afraid, is far from being simple because my story is done! I can’t just add another 5 000 words just to fill out some quota! I started writing this story back in 2009 and left it in the oubliette for almost a decade. A few years ago, I picked it up again, worked on it, and reworked it and now it is what I humbly believe to be a good story.

This is the main reason why my novel will probably never get picked up by any publisher before my deadline of October 2021. And no, I don’t feel like working again on it to try and push it past the 50 000 word count threshold. Writing a story is a lot like following a recipe. Once you’re done, you’re done. There is no need to add anything extra because you might change the flavour, consistency, and appearance, and you might end up with something unappetizing.

But a word of advice for those just starting out to write their novel. Aim for that word count for the genre you are writing. Your life will be easier. Trust me.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

The Dreaded Query Letter

I wouldn’t say I like writing that letter. It’s the bane of my existence these days. Because I am a writer, I should have no problems composing a bloody letter, would I? Well, you’re wrong because it’s not just a letter, is it? It’s a letter explicitly made to sell yourself and your story to prospective agents and publishers.

And well, I am no good at selling myself as a writer or describing my story in such a way that you might find it appealing. That’s what I like about submitting personal essays for publication. Even if your cover letter is so-so, your article follows immediately after. And if you’re a good writer, it will be your saving grace.

I’ve done my research on how to write a good query letter. It’s pretty much the same standard format unless the publisher has particular guidelines. If you’ve been following my blog, (ha! what a joke!) I don’t query agents anymore. I send my manuscript directly to publishers. Their guidelines don’t differ significantly from those of literary agents: salutations, title, genre, word count, synopsis, bio, marketing plan, sales, financial statements, cash flow, a perspective of revenue placement. All that written in no more than a neatly crafted, ingeniously designed 300-word letter! Nothing we can’t handle, right?

Not all writers are good query writers (will the real Slim Shady please stand up), i.e., me. But it’s a learning curve. You can’t just send out the same formatted letter to Peter, Paul and Mary (they were a 60’s folk group; look them up). You have to personalize the darn thing. It’s more complicated than it looks. And don’t even get me started about synopsis and bios. Take any great book, give a boring old summary; no one would want to read it. Exhibit A:

The story is about a family who sets out to live in an empty hotel for a few months. The father is a writer and plans to write his manuscript while serving as a caretaker of the premises. However, the hotel is haunted, the father goes crazy and becomes psychotic and wants to kill his family. Turns out the hotel is a lethal, living entity that possesses Jack and pushes him to continue a cycle of murders that have been going on for years.

Ok, that actually sounds good… Perhaps Stephen King wasn’t the best example!
But all you writers out there trying to summarize your story in a synopsis know my struggle.
As for the bio, well, unless you have a solid background in writing, it needs to be short and concise. I have a degree in animal biology and am now a homemaker who’s published parenting articles. Doesn’t exactly scream bestseller, does it?

To all those submitting your manuscript for representation or publication, I wish you calm seas and strong winds in navigating these tricky waters. And may your manuscript find a good, safe and prosperous shore.

Why Not a Literary Agent?

I did send my manuscript to several agents, here in Canada and in the States, and so far, a few rejections but, for the most part, radio silence, ergo rejections. And I figured, by sending my manuscript to an agent, it’s double the work. First, you have to wow the agent with your killer writing. Then you have to convince a publishing house that your killer writing is marketable. Albeit this last part is indeed the agent’s job, it’s just too many hoops to jump through. I’d instead take my chances by sending my manuscript directly to the publishing houses, no middle man.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: Tania, maybe the agents aren’t answering because your manuscript is a steaming pile of cow dung. That may very well be, but let’s just say for argument’s sake and for the sake of my own self-esteem that it’s not. Whether or not a literary agent likes your work or not is very suggestive and does not always reflect your ability as a writer. Sometimes the material is not something the agent is interested in or will have a hard time selling.

My novel, for example, contains elements of graphic physical violence, some aspects of sexual assault, profanities, and a dog is hurt. Quick parenthesis here, does a dog getting hit with a blunt object qualifies as animal cruelty in a novel? I don’t think it does, but one editor seemed to think it did. The dog is not tortured in the story; he’s just hit—one time. Let me know in the comments if you think that qualifies as animal cruelty. To me, cruelty equals torture. Hitting something that’s attacking you, not so much. Close parenthesis. So, as you can see, complex elements to sell in a novel. Hard to please an agent, or a publishing house, looking for horror without anything horrific actually happening. So what are they looking for? That’s anyone’s guess.

Also, did you know that you don’t need any qualifications to call yourself a literary agent? That’s right. You can just choose to call yourself one, and poof, you are one, like magic. No special training or diplomas are needed. That’s why you must do your research before submitting your manuscript to an agent. Make sure the agent has the experience and knows what they’re doing. Real literary agents start off as assistants to senior agents. Knowing their credentials and where they have worked is essential to make sure you’re entrusting your blood, sweat and tears to the right hands. And honestly, that’s just a lot of work. And I’ve got way too many kids and so little precious time to do that and find the time to write.

Getting published

Welcome to my obligatory writer’s website. That’s right. Apparently, every writer must have one of these before getting published! You read that correctly. Every no-name out there must have a social media presence with a significant amount of followers to even be considered by a publishing house. Isn’t that absurd? It’s the literary equivalent of having a college diploma and no experience, but every job out there requires experience. Well, how are you supposed to acquire some experience if no one is hiring graduates with no experience? How am I suppose to establish myself as a serious writer people might actually want to follow if no one wants to publish my work because I have no following? See how that works? It doesn’t, it doesn’t work!

And who, might I ask, is going to want to be let in into my daily life? A writer’s life is boring. All we do is write, and when we aren’t writing, all we do is think about what to write. But you want a boring life, trust me, you do. I’m blessed to have this happy, monotonous life. And it’s because we have such boring lives that we escape into our writing and create such unique stories.

When thinking about what this blog might be about, a mommy blog did come to mind. After all, I have some published personal essays out there that talk about my experiences as a mom. But mommy blogs are a dime a dozen, and there are so many good ones out there. How can little old me compete? How many times can one spin a story about pregnancy, childbirth, and the nitty-gritty of raising kids? It’s been done to death in blogs and props to you if you find a new way to spin that wheel.

Then one day, an idea just came to me! What am I trying to do? I’m trying to get my first novel traditionally published. Why not make it about that? And I’m going to try and do that in six months because I have been trying to get this darn story published for the past three years, and the deadline is September 2021. If no one is interested in my novel by that time, I’ll just self-publish! Why that date, you might ask? My story happens on Halloween night, so if I do end up publishing it myself, I want at least a good month to promote it. It’s that a good plan? I don’t know. I’m just making this up as I go along.

So, join me, why don’t you, on this foolish, soul-crushing quest to get my first novel published. I can’t promise this blog will help any aspiring authors out there, but I’ll at least try and make it funny. And if not, well, I don’t know what to tell you but good luck!